Words from the Wise
"The only difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." -Mark Twain ---- "There are three types of lies: little lies, big lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain ---- "Hair and nails continue to grow three days after death but phone calls taper off..." -Johnny Carson ---- "Hoover sent the army. Roosevelt sent his wife." -A slogan for relief for the veterans participating in Washington DC riots during the Great Depression. ---- "The ends may justify the means, so long as there's something that justifies the end." ---- "A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew." -Herb Caen ---- "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. " ---- "In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it - thou art a fool. " ---- "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." ---- "Some folks are wise and some are otherwise." ---- "The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it." ---- "The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions." ---- "Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it." -Doug Larson ---- "Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." -Doug Larson ---- "My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance ourrelationship. It's titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'" - Unknown Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) ---- I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Young Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. - Joe Namath Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal ---- "Problems, boy, are like skunks: you may either run away from them or confront them, but whichever one you choose you always end up regretting it, and people will tell you you stink." - Nell Gwynn Category:Quotes